Questions I have been asked via search

Google turned off the ability to read incoming search terms to your site today.

SOME QUESTIONS PEOPLE HAVE ASKED AND, SOMEHOW, FOUND MY BLOG AND THEN CLICKED THROUGH:

does nolan north give money to the poor

– Presumably, he’s basically the nicest guy I’ve ever interviewed. It wouldn’t surprise me if he sang the poor to sleep and gently cupped their balls while he did it, that’s how nice he is

do journalists work hungover

– I’m hungover right now (Not working, though.)

how do you make it obvious that you are a roleplayer

– Try the patented Grant Beard, joining your goatee to your sideburns via a strip of hair that runs along your jawline, because only nerds have this beard apparently

how look elephant vagina

– Get round the back and, y’know, go crazy. Take it all in

how to have fun with vagina

– THIS. This is my favourite search. This is a great ethos about how to approach sex

how to become great

– Wait, no. THIS. This is my new favourite search

how to become sword robot

– Wait. No. It’s this

how to make a robot aligator that some one can sit in it and cotrol it

– God, the hits just keep on coming! New favourite. I hope you found out, kid. I hope you find your robot alligator. I found mine

how to extrapolate my presence

– Rubbish. The last guy had a robot alligator. STEP UP YOUR GAME

i am frothing on the floor means

– This isn’t the best way to get medical assistance in what sounds, to be frank, like an emergency

larp can you punch people if you play monk

– You can. You shouldn’t, though

what is the piece of music that accompanies underwater photography of elephants etc swimming

– This is the search that most clearly came from someone’s mum

SOME THINGS THAT ARE NEARLY QUESTIONS BUT ARE REALLY MORE STATEMENTS:

vagina look like an elephant

– No. I mean, probably not. You should go to a Doctor. That that frothing guy with you

look at my wife

– Okay

this girl seems to have a dark history but i want her

– Rare you get an incoming search with as much backstory as this one

SOME THINGS THAT AREN’T QUESTIONS, BUT ARE NOTEWORTHY:

boobs pressing hard by a doctor only galleries

– Only the Doctor. Hands off, everyone else

twiddle with her twat

– No-one says this

killing someone with a headbutt

– The truest path to manliness

flash sex sex women look window boy room

– This is what happens when crystalline beings from the darkness between the stars try to articulate that they want to locate internet pornography