the stars are coming out

Archive for the ‘Console’ Category

Dark Souls is the girl everyone has kissed but me

[May 20, 2013] Dark souls? Dark souls. I love it. I hate it. What does it want from me? I have not felt this way in years, not since I was a cock-steered teenager, with more hormones than brainspace. I could not read girls – I still can’t, I’m better maybe, although that’s largely irrelevant given the whole [...]

Fuck you, Taurus Demon

[May 17, 2013] I have been stuck on the same level of Dark Souls for the last one and a half years.

Steambot Chronicles broke my heart

[March 19, 2013] It BETRAYED ME and I will NEVER FORGIVE IT.

50 Cent: Blood on the Sand and The Death of the Author

[January 19, 2013] Yeah, that's a title I just wrote, what of it?

Assassin’s Creed 3: A lack of communication

[November 15, 2012] I signed up to this party to kill shit and start revolutions. I'm not going to sit down and listen to some guys tell a story.

Assassin’s Creed 3: The Problem with Passports

[November 2, 2012] Ubisoft have made a menu that is designed to intentionally irritate the player in order to earn them profit.

Bulletstorm “Review”

[October 31, 2012] Here is one thing you need to know about Bulletstorm: it features a quadruple-barrelled shotgun that fires atomising heat-rays.

XCOM Enemy Unknown: I’m dealing with my grief

[October 8, 2012] My sniper died, and it's all my fault.

Resident Evil 6: The Bumscooter chronicles

[October 2, 2012] Chris, I said. Look. Look behind you. I'm scooting along on my bum.

Spec Ops: The Line is a devastating, harrowing, wonderful experience

[July 3, 2012] Spec Ops: The Line is harrowing. That's not something I've said about a game before; I've been scared by games, sure, maybe even upset, but no game has ever made me feel like Spec Ops has.